Strange! Why would I share the reciepe for failure? This is not a failure blog. We’re all born to suceed, its our birth right (Indians love this phrase, don’t we). But as I’ve said before, sometimes its more important to know what you don’t want or shouldn’t be doing, than what you should. I’ve spent the last few days studying how people fail, or call for their doom. They follow what I call the ‘recipe of failure’. These are things that guarantee failure – in ways that may not always be sensed/realized, but things that create long term damage that cannot be compensated by a few benevolent acts. Here 7 things to avoid at all costs:
1. Playing the blame card, always
If you get into a habit of blaming someone or the other for everything that happens in your life, you’re doomed! Trust me, there’s no softer way to put this. You can’t pull-off your entire life scapegoating & harassing others just to feel marginally better for your own irresponsible acts. And neither does that mean you blame yourself for everything, learn to deal with situations. If you work hard, you can get-away with blaming for good & still feel good about your mistakes & failures.
2. Deferring/Avoiding introspection
Sometimes we defer introspection in the fear of reconciling a wrong doing with the conscience. It takes great will to look into your faults or accept criticism, but its the only way to make yourself better for you & others around. Learn to accept criticism.
3. Acting fearless
Yea, everyone wants to be dauntless & reckless. But somewhere you need to fear someone: yourself, God, someone. This is the only check on your actions, and you must stand up to them – right or wrong – in a genuine way that leaves scope for improvement (and not just to show-off your bollocks; and ladies, whatever your counterpart of that is)
4. Lack of Patience
Everything takes time, and when they say ‘everything happens for good’ there is a certain logic to it. If something bad happens, then something good is surely going to happen to keep the natural balance. When it happens, you will feel that its the good that happened out of the bad. Yea, life kinda fools you, but its not too bad either. What you should remember is not to give up any virtue and allow negativity to set in. Because when you, the “goodness” counter is reset, and have to start fresh.
5. Pathological Distrust & Negativity
Quite a few people begin by distrusting people, some never do. This is what Ivan & me had coined few years back. Pathological distrust: what bosses or a company has in its employees. When you trust nobody (especially people who love you so much), you will waste time sniffing all their actions for treachery. And that only leads to a barrier to communication & business.
6. Breathing on sympathy
Don’t live on anybody’s sympathy, for its not real at all times. People might make you feel good about what you are, despite of knowing that your actions have caused damage. Others might be genuine. Both at some point, you have to gain freedom from the crutches offered by your support system, stand on your own feet, and face the world again.
7. Untrapped trap
99% of all damage in the world begins from words. Words cannot be undone. You might forget them the next day, but you don’t know what it has done to those at whom they were aimed. Avoid unnecessary taunts, comments, and expert advice, wherever you can.
8. Enjoying the company of failed people
You have called for your end if you start finding the company of failed people relaxing. Its going to slow you down and discourage purification of thoughts and spiritual evolution. Don’t ignore failed people, but don’t take connubial advice from someone whose spouse left them. Know whom to listen to.
9. Not knowing the definitions of success, money & failure
Success comes from a positive change in spiritual and intellectual quotient. Money is the power to make others around you happy. Failure is when success and/or money get into your head OR when you don’t have 5 reference-able customers. Being to fear the opulence bubble, and humility will follow.
10. Disrespecting life & food
Ok, I am a foodie. But I believe we all earn to eat (survive), and we eat to live. What comes before us is a gift from good, and whether its food or life, denying it does not solve any problems.
This is a success post. If you avoid these 10 daemons, you’ve set yourself on the success track. Cheers!