Category: Thought Work


It just occurred that we all face criticism one or the other time, and either gulp it down, react strongly or get defensive.  Not only is time wasted reacting to it, valuable inputs are lost when criticism is not consumed. What can be done with it? Is it really helpful? Can it be consumed? Yes, to bring in a change, and to evolve oneself. And here’s how-to.

3 tips on consuming criticism effectively:

1. Accept that its good

If you let criticism hurt your ego, you’re not going anywhere. Understand that it’s really the best source to reflect and learn more about yourself. It will expose things you never knew or sensed. So don’t shy away, and encourage constructive criticism & confrontation!

2. Work on the negatives, forget the compliments

Flattery received (or given) adds up to nothing, ignore it. Compliments tell you what you’re good it, which helps motivate yourself an a bad day. The action items lie hidden in the negatives. Spend time to identify, investigate, verify and plan the change.

3. Know whom to listen to

This is perhaps the most important one. Don’t confuse like-ability and trustworthiness. Not everyone you like, likes you and in this world, there are a ton of people willing to compromise integrity to get their way and put you down. Listen to those whose advice you trust and still use your brains to filter what you hear.

For the record, this post is not the aftermath of some serious criticism or embarrassment :)

Aruna Gupte

Prasad: I’d like to take this opportunity to wish all the ladies a very happy Women’s day. Like last year, we’ve opened up the stage for a woman to pen down her thoughts and this time its the most beautiful & respected woman in my life: my mom! Yes, busy Mrs. A P Gupte has taken time out to write for iTelescope. I’ve always appreciated previous generation for the brevity in their communication – this one’s a fine example.

Courtesy: buzzg.com

We're flying high!

Women have made commendable progress over the years in spite of living in  a male dominated society. Yet, as we stand today, we have managed to find identity for ourselves in every known field. This universal representation is the outcome of some great struggles which by itself is a great accomplishment on the part of women. What fascinates me most is that women from all backgrounds have risen: ones from lesser known towns, lower middle class families and even some that were deprived of education. Whether out of necessity to support the family or sheer interest, we’ve scuffled our way to be where we are, what we are today: more independent than yesterday.

Not massages, but is peace of mind too much to ask?

Not massages, but is peace of mind too much to ask?

It’s worth nothing that all these achievements and the resulting independence has come along with great difficulty. Most of the achievers have managed this while balancing both, the home & work fronts, with equal responsibility. And except for some lucky ones, a larger faction has struggled amidst lack of support from family. In this struggle, it is very important that women find positive support and encouragement at home: from their husband, kids & everyone at home. The spouse should voluntarily assist in day-to-day responsibilities wherever possible and take some load off the lady. And if not for that, the least they can guarantee is peace of mind. The same goes with children; View full article »

Were excited about our 100th post!

This is our 100th post!

It’s the 100th post on prasadgupte.com and it’s time to celebrate! For long, I envied the Americans for having Groupon until I realized that there are several deal of the day websites – in fact, with better business models – to serve us. I have been a regular user of these websites, having bought at least 15 deals totaling over INR 15,000 with overall savings of 69%.

5 reasons to save your riches with these shops

1. It saves money: What’s more important that saving some money?
2. It’s easy: There is no upfront payment to receive these deals – they’re delivered to your phone & mailbox for free.
3. It’s safe, either ways: I have always (knock on wood) had a good experience transacting on the internet, and these sites are safe to use as they transact over a trusted gateway. If you fear spending online, you can always have the coupons delivered to your doorstep – free of cost!* So its safe either ways.
4. Keeps you aware: One huge benefit I found out of following these deals (even if you don’t want to buy) is that it keeps you aware of the new places in town and the margins that you can possibly cut in when striking a deal.
5. It’s cool: There’s no reason to be shy – like my dad likes to make me feel. It’s any day cool to be spending smart!

I’ve put together a list of the creme-de-la-creme in the order of *my* choice:

1. DealsAndYou

DealsAndYou

DealsAndYou

I purchased deals worth Rs. 9100 for Rs. 2593. This is one of my favorites! The website is neat, and the deals are fabulous. They take the entire payment upfront – so its a deal in the real sense as against a discount coupon. It covers for roughly 60% of my deal spend and growing, ever my trust in the brand was bolstered by their quick justification email. View full article »

A word of caution: this post is not about an HR exit interview, its about life & relationships – or should I say, death & breakups. Some time back I started following James Altucher’s blog – his experiences with life, money & women are unmatched. Quite often his wife Claudia, a full-time yogi, writes on his blog. Last month she wrote about how she dealt with her mother’s suicide; the truth being that it never healed – she could never get it over. Perhaps, that’s always the case when someone leaves unexpectedly – without an alarm. The mind can’t stop questioning: what went wrong? could you have saved it? You know its not your fault, but probably you could have helped, done something differently. No matter what you do, the pain never really heals. Claudia confirms that there are options and means to deal with a suicidal feeling. But if you feel like learning anything from her experience, you don’t have to wait until you’re suicidal – apply it to other scenarios.

Go a step further, think twice before exiting someone’s life; at least part on amicable terms (as HR would suggest), and keep in touch. For once they can even helplessly accept death, but its much more tormenting for them to be ignored while you continue to exist.  If you don’t like my advice, here‘s some from James, yes James Altucher – her husband (& a hedge fund manager), about diversifying your human capital portfolio: Never have your happiness dependent on a yes or no decision from one person. At the very least: diversify the people who are important enough to do that.

If you’re dealing with a situation or a surprise right now,  don’t loose hope. Understand that (or watch the movie) Life is Beautiful or read about 32 ways to love yourself by Claudia.

This week I read about Brazil wanting to amend its constitution to make happiness a right for its citizens. Having worked its way up to achieve a GDP of over $2 trillion, Brazil is now working towards having happiness on the nation’s to-do. However, it is currently struck with threatening issues such as health, education, poverty & an alarming crime rate. To ensure happiness of citizens means to work around these issues, deliver world class education & wipe out crime on their streets. In-house resources  and independence in science & technology that is already existant,  accompanied by a loyal travail from the government can pretty much add up to the happiness they seek.

Whenever a discussion around happiness comes up, Bhutan is what comes to my mind first. Ever since I’ve been there, I haven’t been able to neglect its focus on ‘Gross National Happiness‘ that they made part of the national propaganda in the ’70s. And the rest on GNH here is purely my opinion, based on what I heard & understood from locals. The government, backed by the monarchy, is extremely responsible when it comes to delivering quality education, health care services & dealing with crime. Almost everything they need is transported from India and we are in a way responsible for their defense. Despite of the transport costs involved in every commodity, the government subsidizes everything from fuel to cars. Perhaps, that’s the reason why everyone from commoners to monks have SUVs. Bhutan is extremely beautiful and rich in culture. Tourism is already  a top 5 contributor to its $2 billion economy, but View full article »

Branding moments…

Don’t we all go crazy for brands? We have a favorite brand for everything – from cola to cars. We even brand people around us, by keeping names that are easier to remember and fun to call out. Then why don’t we brand the greatest moments of our lives?

Consider this: you went on a date that was really great – something that made you realize the meaning of ‘awesomeness’. Then why don’t you just go ahead and call it ‘Awesomeness Redefined’? Isn’t that sweet? ‘Date’ is just used as a homophone here; you can go on to brand every notable event in your life. And this need not be the good ones only, after all people have tagged Bloody Sunday & Black Friday (who knew that such a catastrophic day could leave people eagerly waiting on streets?).

And trust me, there are notable advantages of doing this:

  • It will make it easier to remember that event, thereby avoiding embarrassment & tirade that follows when you miss it
  • When it appears on your calendar, not only will it bring you a smile but it will also help restore the excitement
  • Its cryptic enough to be understood by anyone other than those involved, making it ideal for things that make you hide your head in the sand
  • It can be used as a good reason to get away. Think about it: When you’re celebrating that date 15 years hence & have to leave kids behind, you can disguise ‘awesomeness redefined’ as being anything else: from a live music concert to a food festival to a session on ‘better parenting’. And your kids won’t really mind you going for the last one ;)

So what brands have you created yet? And take my advice, bringing in an advertising professional in your life just to help you with this is simply an overkill. However, there could be other, better reasons to do so :D

The frigidity of online networks

Last Saturday, we ran a wedding marathon. You could take the ‘running’ literally as we moved between 3 corners of the city (traveling 75kms) in 8 hours. No doubt it was fun, meeting all the people you otherwise don’t see between their & their kids’ marriages. There is very little left to be written about weddings – each one sets a higher benchmark for the next. When one of my colleagues woke up to the fact that a marriage could cost anywhere between 8-12 lakhs, I choose to sleep again – alone! But there was something different about that day I want to share.

We were munching snacks at one of the venues when my mother pointed to a lady she thought she knew. It was a short, fair lady with curly hair; none that we had seen before. My mom insisted that she was almost sure, and ignoring our plea to rethink, went on to ask her. My brother escorted her as if she would’ve been executed for a wrong guess. As I watched from a distance, ma asked her a few questions that confirmed her suspicion, but it was little help for the lady. The moment she heard ma’s maiden name, she was struck awestruck! View full article »

Guide to a Better Life

Randy Pausch, 47 yrs old Computer Science lecturer from Carnegie Mellon University, died of pancreatic cancer in 2008. Before his death, he wrote a book ‘The last lecture” , one of the best sellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind. In a letter to his wife and his children, he wrote this beautiful “guide to a better life” for his wife and children to follow.

Personality:
1. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don’t have negative thoughts of things you cannot control.Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don’t over do; keep your limits.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do. View full article »

3 days in Pilani

Last month I had been to Pilani  with 3 friends to appear for my final viva as part of the MS degree. The best part was that all 4 of us had never met each other before and yet got along as if we had known each others for ages. The credit of this success story goes to the BITS DLPD Yahoo Group which is used by students to share information, question papers, solutions, and get answers to doubts. It is also used by some like Vikas as the stage for some email humour – and sometimes he does get close to this.

We had decided to keep ourselves away from the pains associated with state transport & thus rented a car from Delhi. We were entertained on the way to Pilani by our driver Sunilji, who was quite jovial, talkative and knowledgeable. The roads were OK other than few horrible patches, but the driving was horrible. Drivers there derive great satisfaction by adamantly driving in the wrong lane. Initially we used to hold our breath each time someone would drive-in, but later got used to it. The driver questioned our reaction, ‘aap ke yahan dusre lane me nahi chalate?‘ To which Asha said, ‘chalate hai, par aise chhaati par nahi aate‘. View full article »

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) is a song by Baz Luhrmann, an Australian film personality, adapted from an essay by one Mary Schmich which was published in the Chicago Tribune back in 1997. Although this song makes me quite sentimental, I make a point to listen to it once in a while to take stock of my own life. I am attaching the lyrics here and highlighting parts that make a lot of sense to me. Do read through, you’ll love the song too!

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. View full article »

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